last night as I woke myself from a bad dream. I remember the details of a couple of dreams and I think I may have woken myself twice several hours apart but I can't be sure I did so the second time.
The first time I dreamed I was a woman who was relaying her involvement in a horrible car accident to a doctor or psychiatrist. I was narrating the visual images while replaying the crash over and over in slow motion. I was flying through the air as though I'd been thrown through a windscreen and commenting on other people I could see and someone else who was flung also. I could almost touch their fingertips as we passed each other and they reached out to me with a look of horror on their face. I'd get to the end of the crash and rewind it in my mind and add detail to the scene. After a few repetitions I/she snapped out of it, jumped out of a hospital bed wearing a gown, thrashed around screaming and had to be restrained by staff. This whole scenario happened twice. The second time I was being restrained and dragged back to my bed and I remember thinking 'I'm not enjoying this. Bad dream! Wake up!' and I physically woke up shaking my head from side to side. As it was election night I thought I'd settle myself down by checking the results and managed to stay up until far too late, really screwing my day up today.
The second time I'm not entirely sure whether I woke myself up or just adjusted things actively within my dream. I remember thinking 'Bad dream, wake up!' then a feeling of comfort and smiling like the bad thing had been resolved. It's possible I just shifted things in my dream to get rid of the negative situation which, as I remember it, included a very sweet and sexy blonde lady who wasn't the cause of my distress and who I was sad not to find in the dream when it resolved.
It's a real pain in the arse because I rely on good sleep for good mood and simple things like motivation and enthusiasm for life, but there's a couple of really powerful things to take away from this. For the first time I can remember I woke myself up from a bad dream instead of being shocked out of it. This is incredibly useful as it means when I recognise a painful or shocking situation I can't change I can wake myself up. Secondly, if my feeling about my later dream is correct, it seems I may not have to wake myself if I can adjust the parameters of my dreams to steer away from nightmares.
I don't have bad dreams very often but I've had two in a couple of weeks. I'm not bothered by this really, especially if I've gained some control over them.
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