I often envy Jamie

for many reasons. He's bright, popular, fashionable and spends most of his summers DJing in Ibiza.

The main reason I've always remembered him, even envied him, is that he doesn't drink, smoke or do drugs. I was quite taken aback when he told me because it didn't seem at all natural, because that's what my friends and I had been doing for a good few years. 'What do you do for fun?' I asked him and he told me that life is fun anyway.

With a little bit of help from yet another Allen Carr book - this time an almost-worthless pile of shit with a few precise and insightful messages at its core - I've realised that the implied 'fun' that alcohol supposedly provides us with is an illusion, and that it's just another drug. When I think of it that way, I want to treat it like all the other drugs I've taken - if I do them too often they fuck me up, try to cut them out completely.

Carr's book says the only way to control alcohol is to never drink it, the same maxim he used for quitting smoking. While I was reading it I told myself it'd be great to stop completely, and maybe I'll do just that. One problem I had with Alcoholic's Anonymous is they promoted abstinence over control, combined with not socialising with other drinkers. All my friends drink so that wasn't an option so I thought I'd like to control my alcohol intake instead of stopping completely. Now I realise I could have stopped completely and still maintained my social life. I was scared to at the time just like I'm scared to now, but I can see the benefits to not drinking so clearly now, especially after my successful night out last week.

It's true that whenever I see a massively drunk person in a bar or the street I feel pity for them. When I notice someone's slurring or leering or being aggressive while drinking, I don't envy them. I know how retrospectively embarrassing these things can be but I never associate my own drinking with these outward displays of buffoonery. Until now, that is. I want to take responsibility for my behaviour and never get so drunk I'm out of control. I'm not even sure I want to get slightly drunk again. I'm somewhat stuck between a desire to rid myself of something which damages me and a lifetime of indoctrination that it's good and fun and exciting and makes me really sexy and interesting. I know for a fact it does none of those things - it makes me all manner of horrible things that I wouldn't wish upon myself if I were sober.

The only remaining crutch to defeat is the feeling that things are more fun with alcohol. I occasionally use it to alleviate boredom at home and socially, but Mr Carr makes an interesting point: if you were to sit at home with your booze and just drink it, no tv, no music, no books, no games, no distractions whatsoever, you wouldn't really enjoy drinking, so why use it to make those things more exciting? I see this as an opportunity to make life more fun in real, tangible ways instead of the illusory, skewed method of consuming alcohol to increase excitement.

So there it is. It's out there. I want to quit alcohol. It sounds crazy but it's true. I've got one last tinnie at home. I'll probably follow the book's advice which is similar to that of stopping smoking - have the last drink, focussing on everything that's bad about it, the taste, the calories, the negative effects on health and personality, and have that final drink... Make it the last drink, never have another, and look forward to a life free of the problems alcohol has given me.