Yesterday was quite productive

in that I got home, put some shopping away and got out the flat-packed bedside unit and desk Argos had so kindly over-delivered when they dropped off Sophie's desk, unit and wardrobe. I put them both together over the course of the evening, mixing the builds with music, a little Zelda, cooking (a ready-meal admittedly, but still) and eating, jabbering with Sophie and occasional minutes online.

I definitely noticed the absorbing and escapist nature of my attitude the internet. I'd think "Ooh, I'll just check this..." and the next thing I'd know ten minutes had passed and I'd visited four different sites and interacted in a few different ways. Or I'd stop to change tracks in iTunes and be on Facebook a moment later without thinking.

It felt wonderful to spend an evening being so productive. I didn't really achieve that much in the grand scheme of things, but I'd been meaning to put my desk and unit together for, literally, months and not got round to it - birthday, Tess, Christmas, Tess, Thames trip and ultimately evenings spent pissing about online adjusted my priorities somewhat.

Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to have my priorities adjusted, but everything on that list was productive and exciting except for robotic evenings consumed by the internet, interacting with the zeros and ones.

I'm reminded of pictures of kids sat in front of TV screens, hypnotised by cartoons. I've often derided parents that use TV as a babysitter, preferring to interact with children to keep their attention and activate their minds. This is perhaps how I see myself when using the internet - distracted, entertained, but not actually achieving much at all. I've always seen console gaming and the internet as "better" than TV because it's interactive instead of passive, but now I see the dangers of that. It may be better for the brain in terms of learning, interactivity and stimulation, but it's considerably more addictive and can take over your spare time much more surreptitiously than the old gogglebox.

The purpose of setting up a desk in my room is to move my computer in, get sound cards and software installed and connected and ready for recording live audio. This is the biggest step in motivating me to write new music and keep playing my guitar. I'd be more than happy to spend an hour an evening fiddling with beats and looping guitar riffs than wasting it away on trivialities online.

All of this, of course, doesn't change that I need the internet for various pursuits including interacting with my friends, blogging here and elsewhere and, perhaps most importantly, talking to Tess. That latter aspect is something we've discussed and while we don't specifically want to put any rigid constraints on when, how often and for how long we talk, we know to be mindful of my problem and try to work it through.

It's wonderful to have found someone so understanding and willing to work to solve both our individual issues and those to do with our relationship. It's refreshing to talk openly about things, be honest and adult, and work together for a better future, and it's helped me realise how flawed past relationships have been.

One thing I'm sure of: having caught this problem early, I'm definitely not going back down that road, for at the end of it lies certain ruin. I'm quite excited about getting my audio desk set back up, I've already started reading again before I sleep which is a great way to wind down, I'll get back into cooking and freezing regularly and before I know it I'll be "normal" again.