where daughter lowered herself out of a high window to climb down to the ground as some kind of extreme sport. I felt quite confident she'd make it and she was smiling as she lifted herself over the cill. She lost her grip as she dangled and started falling, clear as day in my mind. Her destination zoomed gently away as if in a movie, the whole scene stretching like some camera trickery. I said 'Oh god' and daughter's name over and over as she fell and as she neared the ground I knew she wouldn't survive. She started to float back and forth like a leaf and grabbed for a railing. I was sure her arms would be pulled from their sockets but I yelled to ask if she was ok and she shouted she was. I woke up immediately feeling horrible but as it was almost time to get up anyway I dusted myself off and started my day.
I know why I had this dream; I was given some news yesterday which reminded me how fragile life is and how easily events can screw good things up. A colleague's daughter was hit by a car in their home town and rushed straight to hospital, transferred to a specialist unit and underwent brain surgery. From the brief chat I had with another colleague the prognosis wasn't very positive and it made me sad to picture the hurt he must be feeling at having his daughter so cruelly nudged closer to the edge of the window. He has been on a low for some time, work has been slow and he's in debt and almost unable to pay his mortgage, and now this. I can't imagine where he's getting his strength although I know his family, friends, colleagues and religion will all support his family.
I made a point of hugging daughter before bed last night. I told her a short version of this story and told her I love her. It doesn't take big events or strange dreams to remind me that I love her - her presence, the things she says and the actions she makes every day remind me well enough. But sometimes it's good to let it out.
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