Peon

I've noticed a vast difference between the way I feel at work and how I feel outside of work. It appears I've steadily become so disenchanted with working here it's snuck under the radar and has been bringing me down without realising it. When I think about work I get quite aggressive, negative and uncomplimentary. I don't want to arrive in the mornings and spend the day watching the clock until I leave. When it's busy it's not too bad because I'm good at what I do, I get into a zone and time passes quickly. When it's quiet it's very quiet and boring and I really hate being bored.

We progressively lost a huge chunk of work over December and during the snow of January. During December half of my shift's workforce were off for almost a fortnight due to a death in the family causing us to turn custom away. Then the snow came and hardly anyone came to work, meaning we couldn't provide the service and people went to our more savvy, much more professional and better-managed competition and haven't come back. No surprise really; this business is built on customer loyalty and when we mess them around they don't come back.

All this is happening at a time of reversion to bad habits for many in the company. There have been a couple of 'revolutions' this past eighteen months where my colleagues withheld some of their subscription money until the boss sorted out some major corruption in the company, where a select few would get all the well-paying jobs leaving everyone else with the minnows. It caused no end of friction between certain colleagues and with the management and I was generally in the middle listening to both sides while trying to stay out of it.

As predicted after the last concord, things are steadily going back to shit and one of the worst offenders is one of the bosses and his son, who bend the rules so blatantly I've been gnashing at the bit every time I witness it. Even within the past half an hour they've fucked about three times and I just know everyone else sees it happening and it pisses them off too. Subsequently I get colleagues complaining to me about their behaviour and I can't do anything other than sit and nod and agree 'Yes, it's terrible' without even really wanting to care.

I knew this time would come and I'm amazed it's taken more than two years, but it's definitely time to move on. This is great inspiration to get my business off the ground and build something I can be proud of, something where I make and enforce the rules and control the situation from the top, instead of being an under-paid, under-appreciated peon.