has generally had its ups and downs over the past ten years. I've been close to crushing alcoholism, been the life and soul of the party one minute and a terrible bastard the next, drank myself up and drank myself down. It's been a real roller-coaster but over the past twelve months I've found myself more in control of my drinking and much more confident as a result. I drink considerably less during the week now and only occasionally on the weekends which is a massive improvement on a year ago when I'd drink to relieve boredom. There've been a couple of indiscretions, but mostly I've been in control, understood my limits and even not drunk a drop on social occasions, much to the surprise of not only my friends but me too.
On reflection, something which is affecting me now has been happening for a few years in the most part. If I have more than a couple of drinks, my sleep is incredibly restless and I find myself waking up long before I'm ready, sometimes three or four hours before I'd naturally wake up. Once awake, I can't get back to sleep and usually turn the tv or the internet on. Only after a couple of hours being awake do I feel tired again, by which time it's either time for work or daughter's due up and it's not worth me drifting off again.
I see this as a mixed blessing. Sleep is so precious to me that losing it in this way has put me off drinking at all. Now, when I think about getting a beer my brain goes 'bad sleep!' and I'm instantly put off the idea. This is a good thing, but I'd love to be able to have a drink every now and again and get a long comfortable slumber like I used to.
What it means though is that I'm generally more switched-on and healthy, I'm less tipsy less often especially around daughter, and I'm taking in much fewer calories than I was, which can only be good things. My hand has kind of been forced much like it was with weed, but I'm not really complaining. I've always known the benefits of drinking less and being coerced into doing so is no reason not to enjoy the benefits.
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