As I said during our skype on Wednesday, back in January I didn't want to get into a relationship with you because I wanted you, my good internet friend, to go to university with the freedom to find yourself, to go and have a social life and meet folk your own age and grow and flourish without being tied down to someone you couldn't touch.
I'm so, so glad we tried. I'm over the moon that we had our time together in December and January. I'm honestly so pleased you are going forward, breaking out of your social anxieties and now have that chance to find your footing with people in your home country. Maybe the next two and a half years will help restore your faith in your compatriots.
Please, go out there, get drunk, sleep around, meet fantastic people, have huge fun, learn from your mistakes and try to take some inspiration from me - there ARE men out there who will treat you like a princess, who will love you and care for you and try their hardest not to let you be hurt because you ARE worthy. You're a wonderful person, your love and care and appreciation of the world at large are hugely attractive. You're bright and sexy and funny and you'll go far, I just know it.
I am hurting and struggling to let go a little. I had such hope for our future, wonderful dreams of our life together. That those dreams are gone is hard to accept, but I don't blame you for that. I'll handle it, I'll get through, because I am realising I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. You've helped me see myself for who I am, you've reinforced my positives and shown me where I could improve. You've given me the confidence to move forward and to try again, in time, to forge a relationship with the right person.
I know I'm not alone in those feelings of pain. Take your time, step away from blaming yourself, reflect as much as you can and please, don't be afraid to cry.
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