Monday, October 17, 2011

Misdirected anger and smiles

have been on the cards the past few days. Smiles because I'm finally beginning to feel a little better overall, and misdirected anger because it looks like half my air fare is in the balance. I was going to try and push the airline for a full refund minus 5% admin, then minus £100, then try for credit towards a flight in the next twelve months. I'll still push for that latter option, but I've given up the overall fight. I desperately need the money and I've just got no fight left in me.

I had to have it pointed out to me that my anger isn't being channelled the right way. I instantly jumped on the airline's back when I heard back about the refund, when in truth my anger should be directed elsewhere. That's where the spark of my fight has gone, fizzling into the ether like a dud firework.

Everyone around me is angry with Tess. I should be angry at Tess. I am angry at Tess, but that anger isn't going to change anything, and I'd rather not inflict it on her during her exams. I don't really want to inflict it in her at all. I need to feel it, I suppose, instead of keeping it in like I usually do... *goes to put on Rage Against The Machine*

ARGH GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING ARGH WHYYYYY ARGGGGH!? FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I WORKED SO HARD FOR THAT MONEY, SOPHIE AND I SACRIFICED QUALITY OF LIFE FOR WEEK AND WEEKS FOR THE £463 WE'VE LOST. FOR FUCK'S SAKE arrarARARAHRJHARGR GRHrhaarh rgargAHGRA HRHGARH GARGH!

ARGH. Fuck. Anger. BASTARDS. Fucking money. Four hundred and sixty three fucking quid!¬?£!"$ ARRRRRRRGHHHHHH GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

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