Madam,

I am not responsible for your reaction or your apparent pain. I may appear to be the cause of your hurt but it's you reacting this way and you must take responsibility for the way you feel.

I have three regrets: that I took you on in the first place, because it's clear that your mental state is far beyond my capability; that I was backed into a corner and forced to reveal I was withdrawing service by text message instead of doing it face-to-face; and that you've reacted in the way you have.

The first is my fault, and I have learned from it - I won't take on clients who are very depressed or already involved in the mental health system. The second, I let the text conversation go the wrong way. The third is entirely yours and I simply will not take responsibility for your emotions and reactions.

I have been nothing but clear and honest throughout our interaction and I am confident enough in myself to learn lessons from this episode to ensure a similar situation doesn't arise in the future. I wish you all the best with your future treatments and sincerely hope you find what you're looking for in life.

Ok, that's what I'd write if I was being concise and clinical. Not bad, I think. I'd never send it, but it's nice to lay my stall out somewhat. Here's what I'd write if I was just being me:

Madam,

I'm hurt. You've taken my honest and constructive actions to heart, made them personal and you're blaming me for your emotions and actions. I know why you're doing this - you're depressed and unpracticed in the ways of such strong emotions and they have you in a whirling current of negativity, self-doubt and blame.

The last three texts you sent me yesterday were nothing short of aggressive and unfair. When you text 'I hope you know how much you've hurt me' last thing at night, knowing it'll be the first thing I see when I wake up, you're just trying to hurt me and that's plain malicious.

Fortunately I'm strong enough and complete enough as a person not to take the bait. I can see the bigger picture and it has the human race on the outside and you on the inside: wrapped in layer after layer of defence mechanisms and neuroses, a potential ball of anger, frustration and blame. I know how easy it is to blame others when on the inside because I've been there, I've been that person. It'd be so easy to preach from up here, on my supposed pedestal, but that's not my game any more.

It comes down to pity. Perhaps I shouldn't feel pity but I do. I'd never tell you that, but I feel sorry for you. It's something I need to feel and move past because it's not constructive and I'd like to keep it out of the equation in the future. My pity stems from your need to blame, to dismiss your responsibility, to strike out at those you perceive to have wronged you. You did it with your counsellor - albeit behind her back - and you're doing it with me. Until you start taking responsibility for your emotions, you won't give yourself the chance to move past your issues.

My hurt stems from my insecurity, and I'm working on that here, now, with these words. My confidence that I've managed this situation properly is complete, and I wouldn't change anything about our interaction because it's served as a powerful lesson to me, and hopefully, one day, to you too.