and having a business to take care of is such an attractive possibility. I'm sat at my desk in my dead-end job waiting for the phones to ring and watching the rain out of the window, dreaming of getting mucky up a ladder somewhere out there.
I can't wait to get out of this bloody job. March cannot come too soon. I've got to spend the next few months planning what I'm going to do and trying to build up interest in my new business as a window cleaner.
I'm really looking forward to doing something for myself, for working towards producing my own income and having a business to call my own. Running my business will give me the chance to run my charity project with more flexibility. I really enjoy the physical aspect of cleaning windows and I know for a fact there's work out there to be done.
It's comforting to know I feel ready to take such a big step and strike out on my own. I really wish I'd done it before when I was still in the swing of things, but I didn't really have the motivation then. Having daughter full time has given me a kick in the arse that I should be doing more to make her teenage years enjoyable. It'd be nice to take her on holidays, give her regular pocket money and maybe start saving towards her university fees. It'd be nice to treat myself occasionally too.
I'm looking forward to the driving, to working outdoors, to having a very active job instead of sitting on my arse all day like I'm doing now. I'm excited about seeing people's houses and meeting pets and kids and all the aspects of the job I liked when I used to do it for someone else. The main difference will be that it'll be mine. All mine. Noone taking a fat slice of the cake and stringing me along. Noone being pushy and bitchy and annoying me all day. Having the resources to look after my vehicle and keep my gear in order. Increasing my self-esteem by being solely responsible for my own income. Having the opportunity to make some proper money for the first time in a long time and it'll be mine. All mine.
I'm looking forward to working in the sunshine, in the rain. To calling it a day if it gets too windy, or sitting in the car waiting for a torrential downpour to stop. To having to work harder to keep from getting cold in the winter. To having a car again - big woo to that! To having bills I need to pay and being able to pay them. To having responsibility for keeping my household in order and paying my way without making the mistakes I've made in the past.
What a star I'll be! What do you do? I'm a window cleaner. Do you work for yourself? Yes, it's my own business. How smart is that?!
I'll be able to take holiday. I know I won't get paid for it, but I'll be earning enough to justify the occasional day off or weekend at the beach. I won't get sick pay but I've only had one and a half sick days in the year since I finished my counselling. I'll be able to pick and choose my hours, to define how tough and busy my day will be myself according to how I feel. I'll be independent and flexible and busy and responsible and reliable and full of energy and enthusiasm for my job because it's MINE.
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